Grief Recovery

THREE SIMPLE SECRETS TO CHANGE
GRIEF OF THE HEART TO HAPPINESS

You are in the right place, right here, right now………to transform the grief that you are experiencing to happiness.  You can heal quicker and easier by following a recipe for success that has proven to help others in their grief recovery.

I will explain in detail three simple secrets that you can implement into life today that will shift your mindset from the pain and heartbreak you are experiencing to the inner peace you are seeking for your heart.

It is my wish for you that you have the willingness to change the vicious cycle of the thoughts that keep you stuck in the pain.  This is the first step in the process of change is the willingness to make the changes, and to step into the unknown territory of your future where you will be recreating a new design for living.

What I have found over the years of dealing with grief and pain is that it affects every aspect of our life not just the relationship that was lost.  When you are stuck in your pain, you will find you will be stuck in other areas of your life as well.  When you begin to change one area of your life, you will find all areas will open up and you can create a life of your dreams.  Suddenly, the universe will begin to open up new pathways for you and you will begin to attract those desires easily and effortlessly into your life so you can be happy and at peace once again.

We are taught how to acquire things in our life to make us happy; however, we are not taught how to handle life when we experience a loss.  When life takes away people, places and things which are not under our control, we simply just don’t know what to do, how to move forward, and trust in life is shattered.  Our entire world can come crashing down in a split second and society does not teach us what to do next.  In this report, you will understand some common myths that society teaches us from a small child that are not true in grief recovery.  So let’s get started……..

It was my personal journey of loss over the last 51 years that has really given me a Ph.D. in Grief Coaching.  I was given up for adoption at birth and lived in a foster home until I was 6 months old at which time I was adopted by a wonderful family.  However, being adopted and knowing I was given away created a whole other set of abandonment and loss issues while I was growing up.  In 1978, the only mom I had known died from Breast Cancer six months after the birth of my first child.  In 1980, my husband was suddenly killed in a car accident at the age of 25.  I was 21 yrs. old left with two babies to raise alone.  This was my first life lesson in letting go of what I thought my life would be to what now?  I grieved for years not knowing how to deal with the pain.  It wasn’t until I moved to California from Rochester, New York to attend college that I started feeling like I could live again.  I graduated from California State University with a B.S. Degree in Business Administration while raising two kids and working.  In 1992, I married again, but after one year, I knew I had made a big mistake and I divorced.  It was an abusive situation and a terrible divorce in which I had to start all over again dealing with cumulative grief this time, but not knowing what to do or how to deal with the pain.  However, the last year and a half would be the catalyst for change.  My Dad got very ill with Dementia and the thought of losing him threw me into a tail spin.  My children could not handle my emotional state and they cut me out of their lives along with my 4 grandchildren.  I was devastated and in so much pain without them, I didn’t know what to do.  What do you do when you don’t know how to relieve that pain?  I searched out answers and studied with several coaches and trainers.  I went to traditional therapy and even used my own coaching techniques and self- hypnosis to alleviate the pain, but nothing seemed to work permanently until I met Aurora Winter at the Grief Coaching Academy.  The tools and techniques I learned there changed my life.  I quickly realized that Grief Recovery Coaching is my soul’s purpose.  It was very clear that all the grief and loss that I had experienced all my life was for a purpose.  It was there to show me that I could learn from it, grow from it and help others do the same.  It would be my pleasure to assist you in your inner and outer transformation going from Grief to Gratitude.


COMMON MYTHS ABOUT GRIEF THAT WILL KEEP YOU STUCK

There are six common myths that I have discovered through my training as a Grief Recovery Coach that I believe contribute to keeping you stuck.  These are quick fixes that society teaches us from a small child when dealing with any loss.

Myth #1 

Time Heals All Wounds –  I’m here to tell you that just isn’t true.  I remember when my husband died everyone said to me, “Give it time and you will heal”.  Well, I’m here to tell you that 5 years later I was asking myself, “When will the pain ever go away? I’ve given it 5 yrs.”

This common myth, I believe, is responsible for so much suffering in this world after a loss because you never get over the pain unless you take the proper action steps.  There is a piece of your soul that is disconnected when you experience a loss that just doesn’t create wholeness again with the passing of time.

Therefore, time itself doesn’t heal the pain of loss, but it is the action steps within that time that helps create the transformation from a broken heart to a peaceful heart regaining wholeness once again.  A broken heart is a lot like a broken leg.  If you broke a leg, you wouldn’t just give it time to heal would you?  No, you would take the necessary steps to go to the hospital and get a cast then wait for the body to heal in time.  Well, that is the same thing with a broken heart, time alone doesn’t heal it.  It takes the necessary action steps to heal from the broken heart to the peaceful heart.

Time Magazine statistics show that it takes 5 to 10 yrs. to heal from grief due to a loss.  Well, I’m here to tell you, it doesn’t have to take that long with the right coach, support, and tools for recovery.

Myth #2 

Grieve Alone Another untrue myth on the path to recovery.   I believe isolation is the worse thing you can do for yourself after a loss.  In our society sometimes people will say, “Just give her/him some space to be alone to heal”.  It has been my experience that my thoughts when I’m alone are more dangerous than my thoughts when I’m around others in a supportive environment.  Your mind can conjure up all sorts of illusions when you’re alone, but to talk with someone who understands your loss and can tell you, “You’re not alone, I’m here to support you”, makes all the difference in the world in grief recovery.

When I walked into the Grief Coaching Academy and I was surrounded by other individuals who had experienced a life shattering loss or two or three, I knew I was home.  They understood the pain, the struggle, the identity crisis and all the emotions that I knew.  I was amongst the greatest support system I could ever imagine.

Don’t do this alone.  You need a support system.  You need people who understand what you’re going through and will support you through the challenges of rebuilding your life again, and share the wisdom of grief recovery.  You can join my community here by buying one of on-line programs, coaching with me personally or attending one of my Healing Retreats.  You don’t have to do this alone!

Myth #3

Replace The Loss –  This is yet another myth that never works in regards to a loss.  Often times, this is what a griever will do to fill that hole in their life that is missing.

How many times do you hear after someone gets a divorce that they immediately replace their spouse with another person?  That somehow replacing that missing person with someone different will make everything better.  Well, if you haven’t healed and resolved the issues regarding that loss then most often a new partner is attracted that is exactly the same as the one you just divorced only this new partner comes in a different body with the same issues.  It is so important to not replace the loss, but to heal that part of you that you see in the other person.  All relationships are mirror images of ourselves, so if there is something you don’t like in someone else chances are that you have that quality in yourself.  Therefore, you cannot see anything outside yourself that doesn’t come from within yourself.

In my program, “The Pathway To The Peaceful Heart”, you will learn how to resolve all the issues surrounding the loss, release the old baggage, and move forward with a clean slate.  Once you are aware of the issues, you can heal, and move forward into a new life with a renewed sense of confidence and identity to attract healthy relationships into life.

Myth #4

Don’t Feel Bad  I don’t understand how this one because it truly denies the feelings and emotions associated with a loss.  If I pretend I don’t feel bad then it will go away.  Well, I’m here to tell you, that is a recipe for disaster.

When you are unable to express your feelings because you have been told by others not to feel bad, you bury these feeling and emotions in the cells of your body.  This is the first stage of “dis-ease” which eventually turns into Disease of the body.  You must express and feel the feelings to release them.  The only way to heal is to feel.

There are many diseases today that are directly related to stress, emotions, attitudes and belief systems.  I could write a book about this and my training in Medical Intuition, Chinese Medicine, and Acupressure.  However, for this special report, let me just say that it isn’t healthy to withhold feelings related to grief and loss.

For those who join my Coaching Program, “Pathway To The Peaceful Heart”, will receive a plethora of information about how emotions, attitudes and beliefs effect the human energy system and the disease process.  We will be doing many processes to release those emotions, attitudes and beliefs that no longer serve you and replace these with a healthy mind, body and spirit approach to life.

Myth #5

Keep Busy – I think this myth is what many people do automatically after experiencing grief and loss.  If you keep really busy then you don’t have time to think about the grief and loss.  Keeping busy is a wonderful distraction.

What I found to be true for myself is that no matter how busy I stayed after all of my losses, when the day was done, there was still a void in my life and my heart was still in pain.  Yes, keeping busy helps to forget, but ultimately it just gets buried into your biology only to resurface ten-fold when you a triggered by another loss.  This is what I call Cumulative grief.  It is not the answer.

Being busy just like alcoholism or workaholism is only a bandaid on the wound that is a short-term fix to what is the cause of the pain.  You must get at the root of the pain to feel it and heal it to truly recover from grief and loss.

Myth #6

Be Strong –  This is what happens when there is a death and the survivors are trying to be strong for all the other people in their life.  I could relate to this when my mother died.  At that time, my little brother was 12 yrs. old and I had to be the strong big sister for him.  After all, I was 19 yrs. old and an adult, and now stepping into the role of my mother for him.  Not only did I take on the responsibility of my brother, but also helping my grieving father raise a son alone without my mother.  There was no time for me to grieve because I had to be strong for the others.  I would cry silently to myself in isolation when I wouldn’t be caught crying and then turning strong and responsible.  It was wearing two masks, but underneath, the pain and grief was still there unresolved.

This is not a good plan for success.  So, by being vulnerable and transparent to others gives them permission to do the same, especially with surviving family members.  If we can laugh and joke together, we can surely cry together which creates a deeper bond than emotional detachment.

That completes the six myths of grief and loss recovery that will keep you stuck.  It is my hope that you will take a good look at your own situation and see where you may be have bought into these myths and change it.

I would love to help you go from grief to gratitude by joining my coaching program or Retreats.  Begin your journey going from grief and loss to recovery now.  I look forward to being of service to you and watching you build a bridge back to a life of your dreams.

Three Simple Secrets To Go From Grief To Gratitude

There is Three Simple Secrets that will help you shift your mindset to a peaceful heart with gratitude so that you can heal your pain and loss quicker and faster.

  1. Accept What Has Happened As If You Have Chosen It –  It is so important to have complete acceptance of the loss.  This will bring you entirely into the present and take full responsibility for your life now.   It will shift your mindset into a place of gratitude for what the loss has brought to your life.  In some cases of loss, as in Divorce, you may have chosen it, but maybe you are still hanging on to the grief of the past.  When a loss is sudden and out of your control and shatters your world, it is a way to gain back some control over how you will handle it, instead of falling into a victim mindset which is never a good place to be.
  2. Happiness Is An Inside Job – There was a very extensive study done on what makes people happy.  The study revealed that 40% of happiness is derived from recognizing and become aware of what is under your direct control in life.  The study revealed 50% of the participants who were happy was due to choices that were made and the habits of these people.  The study revealed that only 10% of happiness was due to life and external circumstances.  That means that if you focus on 90% of what you have control over in your life, your choices and your habits then only 10% of your happiness relies on external circumstances.  That will shift your mindset to one of empowerment and will shift you from grief to gratitude easier and quicker than feeling like a victim due to the external circumstances.
  3. You Must Forgive Yourself First then Everyone Else in Your Life – One of the most frequent comments made by those in grief and loss is blaming themselves that somehow they were responsible for the loss.  Also, blaming others for what happened.  I’m here to tell you that you must forgive yourself first as you release the past and then forgive others as you do yourself.  Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what happened is alright.  It just means you are no longer willing to carry the resentment and anger that accompanies blame which turns emotions into toxic poison only hurting you, your mind and your biology.  If you join one of my coaching programs or Retreats, you will experience the most effective forgiveness process that I know of to shift you immediately to going from grief to gratitude.

THE SERENITY PRAYER

GOD grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the thing I can

And the wisdom to know the difference.


 

What Is Next?

If you like what you have read here and you are ready to move forward going from grief to gratitude, then I would like to suggest  signing up for my 6 week Platinum “You”nique program now.  Don’t wait!  If you continue doing the same things you’ve always done, you will continue to get the same results.  This program will change your life and shift you from grief to gratitude.   Sign up now by clicking on the buy now button below.  I will look forward to welcoming you to our community.

PATHWAY TO A PEACEFUL HEART PROGRAM 1 AND 2:

THE PATHWAY TO A PEACEFUL HEART PROGRAM 1 –

This program is designed for 6 weeks and will shift you from grief to gratitude quicker and easier than doing it on your own.  You will gain the mindset, tools, coaching and support you need to catapult your life in the direction of your dreams.

This program includes:

  1. An initial 60 minute assessment and orientation call with me to determine where you currently are in your life.  We will determine together the pathway that is most beneficial for you
  2. A weekly 60 minute coaching call for 6 weeks that will take you on a 12 step process for going from grief to gratitude.  This call will be recorded and sent to you via email so you can listen to it over and over again.  You will receive handouts and worksheets that correspond to the current week’s call.
  3. You will be invited to join the “Raise Your Vibration” Membership Forum where you will be able to access other resources related to healing.  You will also be able to connect with others who are enrolled in the Pathway to a Peaceful Heart Program for support, friendship and community.
  4. Your will receive my EBook, “Unlocking The Grief Code”.
  5. You will receive my “Raise Your Vibration” Unlocking The Grief Code On-Line Program.
  6. You will receive my monthly E-Zine with valuable tips, articles and healing “soul”utions.
  7. You will have email access to me for any questions or concerns that may arise during the 90 day program.

Buy Now Button Here – $1497.00 Pay in full (Save $300) or 3 payments of $599.00

 THE PATHWAY TO A PEACEUL HEART PROGRAM 2 –

This program is designed for 3 months and is considered to be for the Lionhearted who wants to fully experience a life changing transformation from grief to gratitude.  This program includes all of what Program 1 offers with an additional six weeks of coaching.  It consists of 12 weeks of coaching where you will get more in-depth working on all life areas.  This program includes the 3 Day Healing Retreat Intensive.  The date and location will be emailed upon registration.  This program also offers lifetime membership to the Forum to connect with other participants in the program and have access to all recordings and information for a lifetime.

The 3 Day Grief Healing Retreat Intensive is a transformative, experiential, hands-on workshop for participants to really go deep in their process with guided imagery, meditation, journaling, massage, and more.  This gives participants a chance to bond with each other and build life-long friendships in your journey to wholeness.  You also have the opportunity to join future retreats at a discount.

Buy Now Button Here – $1997.00 Pay in Full (Save $667.00) or 3 payments of $888.00

PROGRAMS ARE AVAILABLE BY PHONE AND SKYPE, SO THERE IS NO DRIVING ANYWHERE TO MEET WITH ME.  WE CAN DO ALL OUR WORK TOGETHER FROM THE CONVENIENCE OF YOUR FAVORITE CHAIR AT HOME. 

THE GRIEF HEALING RETREAT INTENSIVE WILL BE HELD TWICE A YEAR AND THE LOCATION AND THE DATES WILL BE PROVIDED UPON REGISTERING FOR PROGRAM 2. 

IN CONCLUSION

It is my wish for you that if you are suffering right now and you’re in pain and you don’t know what to do email me at sandramarieruggles@gmail.com.   It would be a pleasure to assist you in your healing from grief to gratitude and picking up the pieces of your life to live the life you’ve always dreamed.


 

 A FINAL PRAYER

 Lord, let me be an instrument of thy peace

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

Where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

To be consoled as to console,

To be understood as to understand,

To be loved as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive;

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life.

— Saint Francis of Assisi